you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
