fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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