I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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