I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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