all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
