i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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