We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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