Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
