who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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