guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
