I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
