Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I will be naked everywhere
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
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