When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
