If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I'm always down for nudity.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
