his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm at about main and main street
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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