Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
