She said her name was "party"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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