Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Randomize
