There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
