Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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