i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
