I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
