in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
tell me about the eggs
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
