Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
