What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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