maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
