I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
