I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize