Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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