I feel great
I just peed on a car
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
