I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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