I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize