If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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