she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
