It's like God shit irony all over that family
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
