i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
