She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
