I hate all girls vehemently.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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