dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Randomize
