Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Thank you for not boning my boss.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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