shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize