Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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