Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize