As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
