i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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