You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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