That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Plan B is the new Plan A
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize