I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
