You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He? As in you personified your dick?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
