I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
