I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
