the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
