It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Randomize
