That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
