She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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