I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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