I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
