just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
