R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she told me i tasted like america
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
