i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize