Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
