I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
That accounts for only three of the penises
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
