I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
My breasts were aching with rage.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
did i just pee glitter
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
