i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
