this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
