Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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