yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
