is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Randomize
